Lent: Spiritual Growth through Absence

Fasting

With Ash Wednesday being tomorrow, I have been thinking a lot about Lent. During my recent readings I have come across a lot of articles mentioning what people should, or what they are, giving up for this Lenten season. I've seen the typical things like chocolate, alcohol, smoking, pop (or soda), and other things like that. Things that the motivation seems to be on personal gain, but I can't help but think, "are we losing out on what Lent was intended for?" Is our fasting from these things just our way to lose a couple pounds over the next few weeks, or are we taking that time to seek God more? Now I am not bashing anyone who gives up these things for Lent, but I ask us to think about where our heart is in our fasting. Matthew 6:16-18 says:

16 “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. 17 But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18 so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. (NIV)

Why do we fast? During Lent, our focus is on our journey to Christ, and that is the journey that ends with the cross. What better destination than the greatest act of love that has ever been given? On this path we are called to die to ourselves for Christ's gain. So that the things in our lives that hinder our discipleship fall away, and we can carry our cross and be reborn in Christ. So fasting for Lent should be the same thing, and give up something that is hindering our walk with God. Now if chocolate, soda, etc is your comfort, by all means give it up and pray instead for God to be your comfort. That is our true focus during this journey we call Lent. Meeting Christ at the cross in the end.

Absence

Now since I have talked about Lent, I want to bring up something that I have been wrestling with. Our world says we are to be constantly "ON". Yes, I said, "ON." Like OFF and ON. The world says we have to be so "ON" all the time, and we never get a break anymore. I recently graduated from seminary, and I was looking forward to a break from the constant grind of life. But the thing about coaching, being a youth pastor, preaching various places, interviews with churches, and more, I have found that I still haven't turned "OFF" yet. I say that I am not addicted to my phone, but knowing that, "the very important email I've been waiting for might finally come today," has me constantly on edge and on my phone. In the middle of a conversation, Malorie or I might stumble across something that we are unsure about (really could be anything), and we will look it up on our phones in order to learn what it is right away rather than wait till we get home. 

I see it with those around me too. Friends are hanging out, and Malorie and I could be busy every day of the week if we wanted. We are told being present is a good thing, but can it not also become overwhelming? We are supposed to be there for our friends and family, but what happens when we are present for everyone else, but are left with emptiness from only giving? 

Honestly I've been absent while being present with friends. How does that work? Well I have been with friends who need me to be present for them, but I've been so preoccupied or present, with other things in my life that I am completely absent from what my friends need. To state it simply, I've been spacing out while "listening" to someone else. Not good stuff. 

I read a great article recently,  http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2017/february/give-your-kids-gift-of-absence.html. 

To summarize it for those who do not wish to read. It discusses how parents often want to be present for everything in their children's lives, and they want to be involved in everything. The author argues that it is often good for them to learn to live in your absence as well. It is not advocating for absentee parents, but that children learn a lot from their babysitters, teachers, church volunteers, and coaches when it is other people that are not their parents.  I've heard it said, "well it's a parents joy to be tired because of their children" but what happens to the spouses relationship when there is nothing else to give? Should we even ask what happens to our spiritual selves when we have nothing left?

How often in life have you been reading devotion, and race through them in order to get on with your day? Or something you read, reminds you of something that you forgot, and all of a sudden you are lost in thought, not even listening to the Word of God speak as you continue reading. I've been there, I've done that. 

I tried to relate to a few different types of presence, whether it is being present to the world, family, and friends. There are others, and being present for some might look different than the examples I've given. I've heard of this called, "The Problem of Business," but often I am just not present rather than busy. 

This Lent for me is going to be about being more present. I do not claim to have all the answers, and frankly I have no idea how I'm going to measure if I'm actually doing what I say I'm going to do. I have some ideas. Like making sure to go to bed when my wife does, instead of doing things that can wait for the next day. I plan on waking up earlier as well for various reasons. I plan on only using my phone at prescribed times of the day in order to check email, Facebook, and dare I say it....games. There are going to be times when I am busy with interviews, planning worship, youth group, and other things that I'll have to be more attentive to my work, but that is just being present to my job and future calling. 

Through this time I hope to think about the times Jesus went off by himself in order to recharge. How he went off to be with his disciples after John the Baptist was beheaded or off in the Garden of Gethsemane. I think of Elijah who seeks God by running away and finally meets God in the silence. Where is the place that I meet with God in order to only be present with Him? Is it at home, is it where I can be easily distracted, or places where I'll be interrupted. The bigger question is, where do I go to meet with God. 

Psalm 42:1-2a

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,

    so my soul pants for you, my God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

    When can I go and meet with God?

Where do I go to be completely present with God? That's my Lenten journey.